Something’s got me shook. Chasing me like a wild beast and I am begging to the God above that it doesn’t catch up to me. Maybe my rap sheet is too long, or my heart isn’t pure enough for Him to have listened because it caught me. Caught me by the throat and wouldn’t let go. Made me forget to breath, told me I was an Eve of destruction, a Goliath of disappointment, mountains of insecurities, and a Cain to the most beautiful parts of my soul. It caught me and I couldn’t scream. No one saw, no one ever saw! This thing, this man made, woman made…Me woman, made. For years I kept running but you cant run forever, so I’m caught. It has taken control of my eyes so I’m seeing this reflection, this glass ball that has my past on repeat like a taunting melody Mozart never intended to be heard. It has control of my heart; pumping love out and creating a demon of hatred and vengeance. Hold of my tongue so I’ve forgotten how to speak life. This thing reminded me that I put my obedience up for sale and now I cant even cut the check that I wrote. I sold it for acceptance and man made love that never filled the void inside. My obedience. A price I can no longer bare. This thing made me realize that when I was listening to ‘scripture’ is wasn’t God for the devil too knows scripture. This thing paralyzed me, tortured me, brought me to my knees. Molded me into the best versions of itself, fed me sadness; the kind that makes you pray for death just to stop the pain. Gave me a sword and told me to call it friend. And everyday it beat me with lies. This thing, this it: flesh


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