I have learned that just because I have epilepsy, that does not mean epilepsy has me. Every time I have a seizure a part of me begins to question a lot of things. Many of which I would be here all day if tried explaining it all to you all. But this past Tuesday when I had almost 5 back to back episodes, I realized something and I also learned a lot. I was at dance practice that night and even though I was not feeling well and knew I should have stayed home, I went anyway. I had made a commitment and will admit that I was also being stubborn and pushing my body further than it could go. Coming out of my seizures and unconscious state, I saw paramedics (which I am very used too) but I also saw faces of these women I have been dancing with for the past three months. Many of which did not know prior to that moment that I was epileptic. Here I was at one of my most vulnerable states and all I could feel was support and love coming from them all including the president of the organization (Caribsa) that I am apart of. That is not something you can fake. I normally get very anxious when I feel an episode coming on and my best friend or someone who knows how to handle me in that state is not around; so to not feel that was quite different.
When I arrived at the emergency room and started becoming more coherent, I realized that God is not done with me just yet! I am not sure how to explain it but at that moment I could feel God speaking to me and comforting me and also using these amazing people around me to speak life and support to me. I truly believe that one day I will be cured of this condition and that it will be another amazing part of my testimony. I will not complain, I will not be a victim to this and I will not allow it to control my life because I know that my God is BIGGER than my epilepsy. I believe everything happens for a reason.
So to all the amazing people in my support system I want to say thank you, I love and your blessing and reward will come from God and it will be greater than any thanks or shout out I could give.
I love you and am glad that you will see my healing and see the God that is in me!
And to anyone who may be facing a similar situation or a completely different medical condition just know that God is bigger than that and is a healer. Know that this season of hardship or frustration will not last always!