Sin is a funny thing. You ever find yourself doing something that you know is wrong, but in that moment it feel rights. You can go as far as rationalizing it and even go days, weeks, and months, even years thinking and making it seem okay! But the thing is in the eyes of the Lord, what is right is right and what is wrong is wrong. There is no changing the law of the God just because you want to justify yourself. Remember you are not justified by your actions but through faith (Romans 5:1). As you come to reality about what you did, as a believer, you not only have to deal with your actions and the consequences, but you now have to answer to your conscience, the Holy Spirit. I will use myself as an example to make what I am saying clearer.
Simply put, I did something I was not supposed to do and in doing so I was disobeying God’ orders to me. I have seen that as my relationship with Christ is growing, I am more aware of when I am stepping out of His order. I ignored the warnings I was hearing and feeling, even though I knew better, because it felt right. I made my decision and laid down with my sin. Normally I would run from God anytime I made a mistake; whether lying or any sin you wouldn’t normally think about but this time I didn’t want to run. I thought “Well, I will just deal with that, God and the consequences later.” But by doing that I was running, I wasn’t addressing the situation, and I was living in that sin. Fast forward a few days; there is this convicting spirit speaking to me and I can’t run anymore. I have to deal with what I did before I can move on to the next assignment that I know God has for me. When you begin to walk in purpose, you will mess up and God knows that but His love is greater than your sin and HE WANTS YOU BACK. It’s not easy, trust me, but it possible. If we were perfect we wouldn’t need God but we aren’t and we will always need out God.
So first, I had to pray about it and repent. Then understand why I did what I did in order to forgive myself and figure out ways to keep that from happening again. I didn’t want to live in that sin and I didn’t want to wreak of that sin each time I went into prayer. So that is exactly what I did. Don’t get me wrong, a few years ago, this would have been the most difficult thing for me to do. I would have spent much more than a few days rationalizing, ignoring and running from God. I would have felt so ashamed that I would have did just what Adam and Ever did—run, hide, and cover myself but I know what my God says: Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ (Romans 8:35-39) and with that love coms forgiveness and He tells me to not have a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7).
So I know the fear, anxiety and shame that sin can and will bring but I want to tell you today that it is okay. God still loves you because His love is unconditional, you can’t run from Him (Psalm 139:7-10), He will make you white as snow (Isaiah 1:18) and all He wants is for you to keep pushing and trying. He wants to see that you want Him and want to live for Him. There should be a fire in your heart for this amazing God and no sin should burn that if you continue to seek His heart and repent. No matter what you are going through or facing, remember that God is right there. Don’t run, in the midst of your sin run to God. Cry your heart out to Him and see the wonders He will do in your lives. God bless 🙂