Dear Lise…..

I talked to God about you. Today wasn’t the first time or the second or the third. I think I lost count when I saw the sun say goodbye and Bonjour again. And I am not sure that anything I said to Him was audible through the tears but thank God, He knows how to listen to hearts and read minds. I was angry at you for not coming to me. I didn’t understand why you could not feel me. I was inside of you. I am part of you. I begged and pleaded for you to see me when you’d spent hours staring in that mirror. But you didn’t. You made me feel invisible. And I know better than to believe that a spirit like me was anything but invisible, anything quiet. But you stopped listening to me so I kept praying. I asked God to forgive you for sharing your wrist with that thing. For thinking you had the right to take a life that didn’t belong to you. I tried holding you and reminding you that you were beautiful each time you cried and tried to find love in the arms of those boys who paraded around like men and told you lies that you believed. Over me. You got lost child. I was so angry at you. I hated you for what you were doing to us. You are stubborn, damn! You are so frustrating. Even a blind man could see what I see in you, in us. You are beautiful and passionate. You’re honest and caring. You love people more then you allow yourself to love you. Your smile. Oh God, that smile was crafted by God and you could save souls with that smile girl. Now you’ve grown into a woman more seasoned that intended but there is still worth in you ruby. There is still virtue in you. This light inside of you was never meant to be hidden. You can hide me!! You can’t hide Him!! Lise, wake up! I’m still praying for you and you’re making me think that God isn’t listening. You’ve got to see yourself the way we do. You know those white roses you love so much, that’s how He see you. And the way you love people, that how He loves you, that’s how I love you. Unconditional, surpassing knowledge, and full of forgiveness. So I am asking you to please give me chance. I know that you don’t trust anymore. You find it difficult to breathe on some days and the ground beneath your feet shakes and crumbles like the sidewalks back home but take one chance on me. Take a leap of faith with me. Let’s go back to One who created us. Let’s give Him back our heart, our worries, our pain and our filth. Everything. I am praying for us. I am trying to help save us. He is waiting. So please take my hand. Lise, I’m still praying.