You’re probably really mad right now. Or angry and confused, sad and probably depressed. In all reality you might be experiencing all these emotions or just feeling numb. You are replaying every conversation in your head, trying to figure out if there were any red flags and where did things go wrong. You might even think about all the lies and only the bad times. You lose sense of reality. Then the feelings inadequacy set it. Maybe you feel like you didn’t have anything to offer and that’s why they left. Maybe you think you weren’t pretty enough, smart enough, goofy enough…maybe you’re thinking that you just plain weren’t enough. You start to wish you did things differently as though something you could have done could have changed the outcome. You think about the times you spent loving and adoring this person who was the love of your life, your best friend, the one person you have ever ben vulnerable with and the one person you envisioned spending your forever with. And then all that just….ends. So what do you do now?
You take a deep breath and you move on. Yeah, that is honestly easier said than done and you’re probably like, “What the heck is she talking about. It’s not that easy.” Trust me I know. But remember this, things probably seem like they are falling apart but actually they could just be falling into place. The biggest mistake and set back you can have is thinking that this break up was because you were not adequate enough. Stop that thought in its track and remember that you are always enough. If someone does not want to be with you, then that is their choice and is in no way a reflection your worth. Yes, I know it’s tough to want someone that doesn’t want or need you anymore but believe when I say that it is not the end of the world. Sometimes, God is actually protecting you from a situation and a life that He sees will only bring more trauma and sadness in the future. When people don’t see your worth and the beautiful things you have to offer just think of it as God’s way of protecting you and saying “My child, you deserve more.” There is nothing worse than loving and spending months or even years with someone who just does not see or know your worth. That person will only make you second guess your own worth.
When a break up happens you will go through what seems like a dark stage that will never end. You’ll hate him/her for a while and that’s okay. It is okay to feel and express those emotions. Let them out. Cry and shout and let that hurt out so that it doesn’t suffocate and consume you. But get back up and forgive. Forgiveness is for you and not for the other person. You have to remember the love you had for yourself and the joy that can come from learning about yourself as a single person again. But most importantly you have to seek God and ask Him to help feel that void. And if you aren’t sure what that looks like or maybe you don’t know or believe in God then believe in yourself. Fall in love and date yourself and trust that love comes around again. There will be someone that loves and adores you for you but don’t go trying to find a rebound and punishing yourself for something that you honestly probably had no control over.
So life after a break up is possible. It can be a blessing sometimes. Just take a deep breath and take it one step at a time. Try finding the good in the bad and think about all the time that you will have now to really look into yourself and see how you have grown and the kind of person you have become because relationships do change us; whether for good or bad.
So go ahead and live on! 🙂