It’s been quiet here lately. Everything seems peaceful and all the noise has been silenced. All the people have left and gone their way, succeeding and doing what seems to be far greater things than I am. Many have left to begin new chapters, some don’t need me as much and I am just here. Quiet. Still. And here. Then loneliness began to creep in and my mind and heart racing as though the walls were closing in. There was nothing behind me, nothing beside me and for some reason I couldn’t see clearly what was before me and it was just quiet. It’s been quiet here lately. I am in place that seems to hidden from the human eye. There is loneliness yet peace here. There is no noise or sounds but I can hear a whisper so gentle and pure. I am in His presence. And it is quiet here. My mind is at rest and I can feel the presence of God, it is just the two of us. I am in the secret place He speaks of and no one but me is here. And no one knows that I am here. I have found myself wrapped in a cocoon.
I used to dread these quiet and still moments because in them God always had a way of making me see me. He had a mirror to my face and made me see things about myself that I didn’t want to witness. He opened wounds and operated on me daily in this quiet and secret place. And it hurt. I felt pain here from the healing of those wounds and from recovering from the thousands of surgeries that were repairing my heart, my mind, and my spirit. In this secret place it was quiet enough for me to hear Him and to understand His purpose for me. Here, He was teaching me that loneliness is a tool He uses to remind us that He is here. That He is first and will never leave. But still a part of me seems to be afraid and some days I beg for the noise back. I beg for the invasion of people and noises and problems because it keeps me occupied. It keeps me from facing…myself. But I don’t grow in those cluttered and noisy places. I don’t prosper, I forget my purpose and I forget that He is all that I need.
And because He loves me, He quiets all the noise. Commands me to be still and my spirit surrenders to Him. And as the volume of the world and the people around are turned down, I feel my soul rejoicing with loud and fervent praise because I am entering this quiet, secret and sacred place. It is here that I am face to face with God. It is here that I find strength in the driest of seasons. It is here that I am filled and it is here that our intimacy grows beyond explanation. Here, my potter turns up the heart and molds me. He shows me endurance in this place and in these moments. Endurance become mine. I train in these silent moments. Become armed with more love, strength, grace, forgiveness and joy. In this quiet place there is a blood transfusion. “The blood of the lamb becomes fused with my spirit so that I have an anemic reaction to sin.” In this quiet place I emerge from my cocoon a butterfly with wings of gold, a body of forgiveness, a spirit of love and antennas that always point to His grace. I am thankful for these quiet moment because they are needed. These quiet moment are rehabilitation for a tortured soul. These quiet moments take you off life support and fill you with the spirit of the Son.
So if it is quiet and seems lonely. If there are tears that seem to drown you– it is no coincidence. It is no mistake. God is calling you. He is whispering and asking you to come the secret place where He will do a work on you. If it lonely, its just God calling you to come to Him and be ready to uncomfortable. Be ready to grow. Be ready to experience God in new ways but first you have to be still. Embrace the quietness and run to Him. Do as Jesus did: go to the mountain, away from the noise and the people and those that may need you and surrender your spirit…to Him. Your transformation is awaiting you.