However, it is written:
“What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” — the things God has prepared for those who love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9
As this journey of mine with God continues, I find greater understanding and meaning in His word. As I read the above scripture I couldn’t help but smile. I read it over and over again. Each time understanding it in an even deeper manner. Our God is so faithful and true that sometimes it really blows my mind that such an awesome Father has chosen me to be in His kingdom. I think about all the things people used to say to me. All the limitations they placed on my head and the thousands of times the devil tried to keep me from walking in my purpose. I even think about the times that my own disobedience has kept me from following and surrendering to God. But God! What my God had planned and destined for me even before my birth is something truly no eyes have seen or heard and no human mind could conceive, not even my own. This post is not to brag on myself but to brag on the mighty, graceful, forgiving, loving and gentle Jehovah Jirah that I serve. The same God we all serve.
My testimony is one that I try to share in bits and pieces through my blog post, the way I live my life, to the people I meet and sometimes even to myself just to encourage myself. For one, I am not perfect. I repeat, I am far far from perfect. Yes, I grew up in church and knowing God and from a young age God showed me His love and grandeur in more ways than one. But along the way, I lost sight of a lot things.I stopped trusting Him, I stopped adhering to His word and I spent some years of my life not living according to His will. Now these aren’t things that I am ashamed for four reasons:
- My God had forgiven me, cleaned and restore me
- The decisions I made were of my own accord and I have come to accept them, I have forgiven myself for them and I have surrendered them to God
- I have seen how God can turn the ugliest of things into testimonies and a way to remind me that I cannot save myself, my actions and good deeds cannot save me only He can. Only my faith in Jesus Christ can
- Beating myself up for my mistakes and the sins I have committed do me no good and only gives the devil another way in to further keep me stagnant and running from God
I am 22 years old and I have lived and experienced things in this world. I have bathed in the indulgences of worldly things and I have seen and done things that brought me my knees. I know there were moments where I probably brought tears to one I serve because I ran from Him and used everything else in this world but Him to fill my voids. Crazy thing is I didn’t realize that the God sized void I had in me could only be filled my God himself.But I am blessed and forever thankful that God saw something in me that I didn’t see n myself for years. I became everything I never thought I could be and my purpose was everything no human mind could have ever conceived.
See, I am a 22 year sinner. A child of divorced parents. I am disobedient at times, have trouble surrendering to God or even trusting Him a time. Some days I don’t feel like doing the whole God things, I don’t want to pray or go to church and some days I just feel like running away from everything. I have dated men I knew i shouldn’t, I have played with fire and gotten burned more than I would again even admit. I’ve drank, I have smoked, I have partied with the best of them. I have even had nights that I would wake from and be plagued with regret. I’ve dealt with depression, anxiety and epilepsy. I have even tried to take my own life. See I’m not your ‘ideal’ Christian. I have piercings, I want a tattoo, I speak my mind and sometimes without even thinking. And I could go but that isn’t the point. I want you to read that and tell me what someone would think of me. Tell me what things you think I could accomplish. Tell me what you think my limitations are. Tell whatever comes to mind, good or bad. Think about it. Think about your life and what you have been through. Think about the people who doubted you or told you wouldn’t be much in life. Think about limits they set for you and think about the hundreds of times you believed them.Now hold on to those thoughts and think about this: But what has God done! How has He still used me?! I don’t know about you but that bring such joy to my hear and soul and a smile to my face. Because let tell you about my God. Let me tell you this God sized story and victory once more:
See, my name is Lise. I am 22 years and I am not perfect. I am child of divorced parents who still believes in love and marriage. I am author, blogger, and poet. I am learning each day to surrender to God and my trust in Him is better than ever. On the days that I don’t feel like doing the whole God thing, I still pray and I still try to read a verse even if I have trouble believing. I am overcoming my depression and anxiety. I am healed and seizure free. God loves me and has found me righteous, acceptable, redeemed, eternally loved. God had chosen me to lead His daughters. He has allowed me to use my shortcomings as a way to testify, related and plant seeds of joy, hope, love and worth into young women who were just like me: lost and feeling unworthy and unloved. I am a big sister to little boy who I cherish with all of my heart. I am child of God. I am a girlfriend to an amazing God- fearing man who loves me like Christ loves this church. I am not perfect but I am loved. I am kind, and honest and joyful. I am forgiving. I am a student at the greatest university there is (go DAWGS!). I am hard worker. I am a mentor. I am beautiful and intelligent. I am filled with the spirit and I fear only God. I am all of these things because of God. I am not past, I am not my failures, I am not who this world wants me to be but I am what no eyes have seen or ears have heard. I am a child of God whose purpose and destiny is so rooted in my Prince of peace, my God of love that everything I am and everything do according to His will is more than any mere mortal could ever fathom. I am who I am because my God is who He is and you are what you are because you are a child of a King.